More Sad News
I am sad to announce to the Infamous Grouse community that Woonsquatuxet "Woony" The Fish has passed away. I know this comes as a shock to all. Woony surely was the strongest and most resilient of us all at 17 Thayer and will be sorely missed.
For those that did not know have the pleasure to know him, we came to know Woony when Chris won him at the Wikenden Pub last year. Apparently, Chris was not especially appreciative of these prizes as he later broke the "Amstel Light" light he won that night and failed to properly care for young Woony. Malnourished and desperate, he leaped from his home (a beer mug) only to be found on the floor motionless by Nathan later in the day. When Nathan picked him up to to throw him away, Woony, miraculously, sprung back to life, scaring Nathan out of his towel. Since then, I have taken custody of Woony and he and I have become close. We have traveled over 2300 miles together to and from Cleveland, Providence, and his final destination, Arlington, Virginia. Woony's latest move, from a plastic cup to a Nalgene bottle, proved to be his last.
Woony was a survivor. He survived Chris' negligence. He survived his apparent suicide attempt. He survived the airport X-Ray machines. He survived GladWare. He survives today in all our hearts.
I'm a survivor,
I'm not gonna give up,
I'm not gon' stop,
I'm gonna work harder,
I'm a survivor,
I'm gonna make it,
I will survive,
Keep on survivin'
- Destiny's Child
Seriously, though, I did grow attached to Woony and will miss him.
So to recap, my car has been towed and will cost me upwards of $100 to get out, I'm stuck in Cape Cod with my parents, I'll probably be fired when they realize how incompetent I am at my new job, I desperately long to have the last year of my life back, and my fish is dead.
But wait, there's more. I had $60 in overages on my last phone bill so when Cingular took the money out of my account, there were insufficient funds. Now I have to pay for the check bouncing and they might cut off my phone. Also, the key I sent to Smallberg to get my car out apparently is lost in the mail somewhere. If he can't get it out today, an extra $175 fee kicks in. I'm soooo sad.
On the other hand, Nathan seems to be doing quite well. I got this series of text messages from him yesterday:
1:04pm: i'm just going to say this: everyone in my office is drunk. $2000 lunch. it was all free. fuck yes
1:07pm: they want to play beirut
3:49pm: hey guess what
Lord knows what that last message would've been. And I was the one telling him not to worry about life post-college.