The Final Countdown

There are 33 days until the 2006 election.

That means there are about 67 days until I make my (hopefully) triumphant return to Brown to relive my long-lost college days. Since I've been gone*, I have been keeping up with the goings-ons primarily through the BDH. Reading this article yesterday made me particular Brown-sick:
The life and times of a Jo's employee

JWU students tell all about late-night dining

"...[A Jo's employee] added: "Some of these Brown students are complete wackos... And some are assholes, but you know what, they make the job fun."

Each cook eagerly imparted numerous stories about encounters with Brown students while on the job.

"Last year, a guy walked in (wearing) a penis costume, and he was just running around, and then right after that happened I (saw) two girls kiss and then right after that, the fire alarm went off," Robinson said. "Just like that, in one sequence. It was hilarious." (BDH, 10/2/06)

I remember that night fondly. Not surprisingly, the guy wearing the penis costume was one of Eddie's pledges.

From what I can tell, these are the top developments since we've graduated:

• Nathan is the University's resident blog expert.
  
• The Ratty added alarms to the "emergency exit" doors. I now have no clue how I'm going to eat while I'm in Providence
  
• Black people are getting beat up by the cops again. Thank god they took a break the four years I was there.

And now, just other things that entertain me:

• From the Asheville, North Carolina Citizen-Times Newspaper:
  
  
  credit: Special to the Citizen-Times
  Someone vandalized the Madison County Republican Headquarters on Sunday, authorities said.
  
  Does anyone think its weird that the Republican Headquarters is a mobile home?


• Don't even get me started on the Mark Foley scandal. I assume everyone knows by now about the Republican congressman who had to resign after his "inappropriate" IMs and e-mails to high school staffers were exposed. But seriously, read these gems from one of these IMs (Maf54 is Foley, the teen's screen name is redacted):
  
  [redacted screenname] (7:41:57 PM): ugh tomorrow i have the first day of lacrosse practice
  Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that
  Maf54 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running
  
  Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me
  [redacted screenname] (8:08:38 PM): ive already told you that
  Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again
  [redacted screenname] (8:08:49 PM): 7 and 1/2
  Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful
  [redacted screenname] (8:09:38 PM): lol
  Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size
  [redacted screenname] (8:10:00 PM): thank you
  Maf54 (8:10:22 PM): still stiff
  [redacted screenname] (8:10:28 PM): ya
  Maf54 (8:10:40 PM): take it out
  [redacted screenname] (8:10:54 PM): brb...my mom is yelling
  
  [redacted screenname] (8:16:53 PM): well i better go finish my hw...i just found out from a friend that i have to finish reading and notating a book for AP english
  
  Believe it or not that's the PG version. That just makes this commercial even more awesome:
  
  That's bad, Foley's gotta go.


• I told y'all these squirrels are aggressive and hungry. From MSNBC:
  A squirrel tried to wrestle a muffin away from a 4 year old boy by biting and scratching him... as many as six people have been attacked by these squirrels in Mountainview California parks...
  First Uncrustables, then the world.
  
  
• And finally from the makers of Grand Theft Auto, Rockstar Games presents... Table Tennis (seriously). From the site:
  "Experience the unmatched intensity of the real-life sport with an authentic physics engine and intuitive gameplay that mimics the exhilirating experience found in true international competition."