WE'RE NUMBER 12!

Cleveland no longer poorest U.S. big city

Triumph! Cleveland is no longer the poorest big city in the United States. We're twelfth. There are so many people to thank. First, and foremost, thanks goes to the newest poorest city: Detroit.

FYI, the rankings are:

1. Detroit
2. El Paso, Texas
3. Miami
4. Newark, N.J.
5. Atlanta
6. Long Beach, Calif.
7. Milwaukee
8. Buffalo
9. Philadelphia
10. Memphis
11. Baltimore
12. (tie) Cleveland
12. (tie) New Orleans
14. Stockton, Calif.
15. St. Louis

Thanks to that bitch Katrina's wet pussy drenching the Gulf coast, New Orleans is sure to rise up the list and leave Cleveland all alone at 13th place. A fuck you also goes out to those bastards in Baltimore. Quoth the Raven, you are poor.

And did y'all see Big Brother on Tuesday. Is the fiend ship not out its damn mind? They've officially reached the point of a cult. Do not let Kool-Aid or black Nikes into that house. After reality blurred declared a week ago that "Big Brother 6 has officially reached its boring stage," the reality tv blog posted today (I feel like people don't actually click on links so I'll just the post whole article below- for non-watchers all you need to know is Janelle is good and the rest of the house are evil whores):

April says viewers "are all pieces of shit" because America made Ivette cry

I take back what I said about the second America’s Choice question (viewers voted for which houseguest should recieve a phone call from home) being lame and not impacting the game...

After Janelle won America’s Choice and received a call from Michael (a former houseguest), Ivette broke down and sobbed. “Ivette’s feelings are really, really hurt right now. She feels like, how could America pick Janelle to get a phone call…?” Maggie asked.

Well, Maggie, basically we’re not fond of Ivette. Or you.

April was also upset. “It hurts my feelings to know that America loves Janelle. Any one who would sit here and think that Janelle deserves a phone call from Michael over any one else in this house, I just have to question their character,” she said.

For an example of strong character, flash back a few weeks to April talking about Janelle: “At least I don’t have to suck cock to get by in life!”

Even better, the Friendship started calling the producers and CBS liars and cheaters. They couldn’t believe we would vote for Michael to call Janelle, since they only knew each other for two weeks. Maggie said, “There’s no way America picked Janelle.”

April agreed. “We don’t believe it. … There’s no way that could have happened. There’s just no way,” she said. “The houseguests are missing their loved ones, and you’re going to frickin’ get Michael to call Janelle? I mean, that’s just crazy, that’s stupid.”

And then April did the one thing that has perhaps never happened before on a reality TV show, at least not in recent memory: She attacked us, the viewers. And used a swear word.

April said, “If America did honestly pick her, then the fans that watch this show are all pieces of shit. Bottom line.”

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Now that's entertaining TV.

I've also figured out why my favorite houseguest, "Hurricane Howie," is such a pitiful klutz. HE'S A JEW!"

Some of my favorite Howie-isms:

• "I've been with White chicks, Asians, Latinos and Afro-American Black women."
• "I've been with blondes whose carpet matches their tiles."
• To the useless gay Beau: "If you were a man..."
• From Big Brother: "Howie... Please stop sniffing the panties"
• "I've gone black & gone back."
• "I want Kaysar back in the house so he can think for me again. It's hard to think on my own.''
• People are appalled by me, disgusted by me, but deep down they're like, 'That's awesome!"
• ''I've never seen kung fu porn, but I'd like to.''
• ''Are those space pants? 'Cause your ass is out of this world.''
  

However, none of this stacks up with Kaysar's quote of the season:
(to Maggie): I sealed your partner's fate.

Today was a good day.