We Need A Resolution****

First, to Cat, I will explain why women are stupid sluts in a future posting but in the meantime you may want to check out Judith Butler's book, "Gender Trouble" and Luce Irigaray's "This Sex Which Is Not One." They are both post-structuralist feminist authors who have written eloquently on the topic. So suck on that.*

Secondly, welcome to the blog Kartik. It's about time. Mike: get your act together.

Third, I'm leaving in 7 hours to go to the Bahamas for a week... with my mom. It's sort of like eating General Tso's out of a porta-potty.

Fourth, I've finally found a post-college plan that I think might work. I don't feel a passion for either of the Democratic senate candidates in Rhode Island (Matt Brown and Sheldon Whitehouse - pictured, respectively) and sort of like the incumbent Republican (Lincoln Chafee). In Ohio, I can't decide which of the Democratic senate candidates I like the most (Sherrod Brown and Paul Hackett) and I hate the Republican incumbent (Mike DeWine). Instead of actually making a choice between the four, I've decided I'll just work for all four.

I am going to apply to work for the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee in Washington, DC. In addition to the job opportunity, nearby Maryland will allow me to pursue another of my favorite pasttimes:

Mooning deemed 'disgusting' but legal in Md.
Man who exposed his buttocks during an argument walks free
WASHINGTON - Acquitting a Germantown man who exposed his buttocks during an argument with a neighbor, a Montgomery County Circuit Court judge ruled yesterday that mooning, while distasteful, is not illegal in Maryland...
Debelius made clear his disdain for the defendant, calling the alleged act "disgusting" and "demeaning." The outcome could have been different, he suggested, if the man had been on trial for "being a jerk."

The Hu particularly enjoyed the phrase "distasteful but legal." I think I should adopt that as my new slogan -- Brandon: Distasteful but Legal

Finally, last year my New's Year's Resolution was to stop "hating." Lo and behold, only a few weeks later I discovered that I would be living a few feet away from a rich, white, Republican lacrosse player from New Jersey. Ain't that some shit. However, we (I) overcame our differences and now he's not only my best Republican friend (outside of when Eddie has his 'conservative days') but a guy I like and respect. Level One Complete.

So this year I have two resolutions:

1. Be More Repsonsible - I'm fucking 21. I still plan to be a dumbass, an asshole, and generally ass-obsessed but its time I actually get my ass to places on time.
2. Be Less Racist - I still plan to make problematic assumptions and point out stereotypical traits in people but I resolve to not let that determine my initial opinion. Basically I plan to more of a meta-bigot this year (shout out to Annie who is the Infamous Grouse commentor of the year, 2005, in my book).
   
   I've written previously about how I feel the Black view of race is much more about someone's core identity while other races just sort of see it as a cultural disorder to be dealt with. In the spirt of buh-zhee Ivy League blackness, I plan to not be so black** in '06. Now all I need is a white girl**.