Tuesday, February 28, 2006


kartik: breaks hearts like chairs

Friday, February 24, 2006


make new hammer friends: mc hammer on blogging

so i've taken up playing the mouth harp again. it is indeed a funny sounding instrument. i can produce a variety of tones, but the problem is i have nothing to play. there are not good mouth harp songs out there so i end up mostly just making eerie noises that i'm sure have confused kartik.

if you've encountered me at the gcb lately and i have you pegged as someone who knows computer stuff (in contrast to me), i've probably talked to you about the aggreblog idea. well just the other day technorati released a "favorites" feature, which when combined with the free services of a conveniently named site "rss-to-javascript.com," has enabled me to make something along the lines of what i had envisioned for this aggreblog. the result is now in this blog's sidebar toward the bottom. it is supposed to show a brief excerpt of blogs of people we know, in order of which post was most recently posted. unfortunately it does not work as it is supposed to. in fact, it seems that technorati greatly prefer's kevin's stockholm syndrome over any other blog. it completely ignores any other blog on the list when it posts.
c'mon technorati, get your shit together.

in a final note. i'm off to what will surely be the biggest party in danvers massachusetts tonight. my step-mother is hosting a party for her extended family. no tamil-tiger themed festivities, it'll be all hardcore north shore for me tonight.

oh! oh! look at this blog. it is MC HAMMER'S BLOG. he signs every post with "-hammertime"

"The engine and power of the movement is the blog. The blog will allow us to link hand in hand, one to another. Even those who are not Hammer Fans but appreciate blogging's empowerment are welcomed supporters. The blog is our commonality. My goal is to connect with Hammer Fans. Make new Hammer friends and meet with like minds. Those who believe in God, family and community. Through the blog I will eliminate sensationalism. You will have access to my many thoughts and truly get to know me without an intermediate."
-MC Hammer

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

harry j. blige

steve francis: or, rhetoric practice

The NBA’s biggest payroll just got bigger. Because of today's trade, three time All-Star Orlando Magic (and formerly Houston Rockets and Maryland Cardinal) shooting guard Steve “Franchise” Francis will fly to New York tomorrow, where the cruel burden of the Knicks’ 15-37 record—their worst since 1985—will fall instantly on his 29-year-old shoulders.
In New York more than anywhere else people think they can buy their way out of anything—pain, cultural subordination, sexual inadequacy, Queensbridge, political scandals, trouble, etc. Athletic mediocrity is a complicated virus, though. If the Yankees’ success is so despised in part because they give bodily, nationally televised form to the Machiavellian ethos of enough money being able to do anything, the Knicks’ hardships are an argument for the unpredictability of any investment. To watch them play this season is to walk in on a young married couple careening toward divorce only weeks after moving into the 5-bedroom “house of their dreams”. People hate Steinbrenner for many reasons, but more than anything, I think, they hate coming to terms with his being right: if you spend enough money and acquire enough talent, so his strategy goes, you will end up winning. The Yankees win. The Knicks do not—at least since the turn of the century. And they have the largest payroll in the NBA.

Of course, these are different sports. Baseball celebrates distance, reticence, and lack of eye contact. The starting lineup may rub their scrotal derma together in the dugout, but when they go up to bat, they are individuals—Imperialists?—who neither want nor need anyone’s help. They are, in short, profoundly insecure. Basketball, by contrast, despite Reebok’s best efforts, is a game of ten, and necessarily so. The choreography and proximity of the players enables a game where one is defined not by his self but by his relation to others. [2005 NBA MVP Steve Nash’s favorite book, you ask? The Communist Manifesto.] The difference between playing baseball and basketball with a group of strangers is that, whether good or ill, one’s post-game feelings toward the other basketball players will be of a temperature that baseball’s introspective lull cannot match. And while there is no “I” in TEAM, words like HIT, PITCH, INNING, and STEROIDS are another matter. I'll let Steve himself take care of the end of my argument, which had something to do with beauty. (See accompanying photo.) In light of this it makes sense that a team as talented as this year’s Knicks can perform so poorly. The question is whether Steve Francis, a veteran compared to the rest of the squad, can lift them from the floor of the Eastern Conference. I know little about him except that he has a foul mouth, 42” vertical, and committed 21 technical fouls in 2004-5: great material for the Post and Daily News, but can it pave a road to truth-redemption?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

He Hate Me

To Do List (Updated 2/21/06)

Completed Thus Far
  • Figure out how to win the house in the 2006 elections. (Done plus a new post on narrative strategy.)
  • Perform my first on-campus stand-up act. (Done, next show this Friday)
  • Clean the bathroom. (Done)
  • Cathay Cathay. (Delicious)
  • Drunken Karaoke.
  • Take Pictures. (Done, proof below.)

Mike, should have some more coming soon. I have been careful to show discretion in my choice of pictures. I hope Mike will do the same.

Monday, February 20, 2006



- The Average Joe 2 finale did not, in fact, change my life.

- Brandon has taken to wearing a black ski mask with an orange NBC 10 headband (one of the set we won through our Providence Winter Olympics exploits the other night). I wish I had a picture of this masterful ensemble, which might be politely called a "mindfuck." It's one part suburban housewife, one part TV news reporter, one part Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, three parts Hamas, and a dash of Ulster Volunteer Force. Truly frightening.

- Can anyone out there in the blogosphere send Ellen advice about how to circumvent Chinese government firewalls and gain access to Blogger URLs? I can't rest easy thinking that state repression may actually be more powerful than the 'sphere.

Friday, February 17, 2006


just kidding!

in a surprising move, my much planned for oral surgery has been cancelled at the last minute (about 10 minutes before it was supposed to happen).

so while this delays my weekend of pain for another month or two, this throws a few other things into confusion.

i will be returning to providence this afternoon/evening when i had fully expected, up until a couple hours ago, to be deleriously grasping for prescription pain-killers.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


a weekend without wisdom

this weekend while my roommates explore the untold glories of little compton, rhode island, my mandibular fate will be in the hands of the men at salem-peabody oral surgery. i will spend my long weekend in extended pain and drug-induced stupors, and all this with possible nerve damage. it was not very wise of my wisdom teeth to not grow in like normal teeth.

recently i have gotten into the habit of making themed itunes playlists using the collective music libraries of this apartment. my most recent creation is "rivers, and how to traverse them (boats & bridges)" unfortunately for those interested in such a playlist, it is only available to the very select population of people connected to our specific network hub.

when tomorrow morning rolls around, spare a thought or a prayer for my lower jaw nerve.

Sunday, February 12, 2006


The Blizzard of 2/11/06.

As Hamas' recent electoral victory has taught us, the world can still produce exhilarating, destructive surprises. Last night, as Providence was gradually cloaked in white (a non-threatening, wintry counterpoint to the ebullience of Hamas green?), the Grouse played host to, among other things: the bhanghra-induced destruction of our neon Amstel Light sign; a furious dance-off featuring two of the blogosphere's most consequential tastemakers, sending this blogger, who had hitherto single-handedly sustained the dance floor, fleeing like an armless Grendel from the mead hall; two heartfelt renditions of "Since You've Been Gone"; and birthday-boy Nathan performing the "mashed potato" to Lightning Bolt.

Which is to say: fears regarding Trife's immanent demise are, for the moment at least, forestalled.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

He Hate Me

Upcoming Trife

5ishPM: Drunken Ice Skating (Downtown)
How could trife not ensue?
9PM: Brown Stand-Up Comics (Saloman 001)
Come see the act described as "really fucking dirty" by the members of Phi Psi
7PM: Brown Basketball vs. Columbia (Pizzitola)
My Hero:
"On Tuesday night Robbie the Bobby, Bury's mascot was sent off for the third time this season after arousing the ire of the referee by "mooning" at visiting Bristol City supporters and encroaching into the opposing manager's technical area...

In the past few months he has also mooned at Stoke City supporters and - in his attempts to prove he is the toughest mascot in the league - traded blows with Bartley the Bluebird of Cardiff City...

Other recent miscreants include Cyril the Swan, who was confined to the stands after invading the pitch - having previously thrown a pork pie on the playing area during a cup tie against West Ham.

Also to be found on the roll call of disgraced mascots are Wolfie, from Wolverhampton Wanderers and H'Angus from Hartlepool United.

Wolfie had a disagreement with three little pigs - even though they were not even linked with the club's opponents, Bristol City, but a local double-glazing firm. H'Angus's charge sheet includes cavorting with a blow-up doll during an away match at Blackpool and allegedly simulating sex behind a female steward at Scunthorpe.

10ishPM: Party (17 Thayer)
Details to come...
After the Vomiting Stops: Cleaning Party
9PM: 24 and 40's (17 Thayer)
My first 40 since Super Bowl XL-Hands
Plan accordingly.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


on a side note, hank williams made good songs

not to say i'm bored. i just think this is a pretty nice diagram. and the whole anxiety thing sure does hit close to home.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

He Hate Me

To Do List

My "Must Do Before I Graduate" To Do List
  1. Pass All of My Classes.
  2. Write my Thesis (Masculinity, Power, and Televised Reality - due April 7).
  3. TA22 (Persuasive Communication) - Learn and apply rhetorical tricks other than "You're wrong but continue."
  4. EC137 (Race & Econ) - Learn from the sins of a Black conservative.
  5. PS182 (Parties and Interest Groups) - Don't piss off Schiller.
  6. MC230 (TV and Sex) - Steal ideas to use in my thesis (and futon).
  1. Set up Political War Room.
  2. Get a job at the DSCC, DCCC, SDCC, DSOC, DNC or anywhere in DC.
  3. Figure out how to win the house in the 2006 elections. (DONE)
  4. Play fantasy politics on The Dem IM.
  1. Have a fun and memorable Spring Break somewhere other than RI or OH. (Amsterdam? New Hampshire?)
  2. Perform my first on-campus stand-up act.
  3. Naked snow angels: Part IV.
  4. Get Chris Hu to fart (preferably on someone).
  5. Drink at the Ratty.
  6. Make peace with women.
  7. Be the best Black hockey/soccer intramural goalie in the history of Brown University.
  8. Take pictures.
  9. Starf*ck.
  10. Go in "The Cave" and be disappointed.
  11. 2 words: 40's & HBO-on-demand.
  12. Clean the bathroom.
  13. Get one last meal from each of the Thayer Street restaurants.
  14. Drunken karaoke.
  15. Streak an a capella concert.
  16. Cathay Cathay.
  17. The 'Kings' Rematch.
  18. Tell friends that I appreciate them.
  19. Drink or smoke with a cop or faculty member.
  20. See everyone at least once a week.
  21. Keep Woonie and my other housemates alive.

Thursday, February 02, 2006


are these related?
or: adaptation or death for old-timey communication systems

it seems we have a new breed of carrier pigeon that's keeping up with the times while the telegram is having it's worst year in a while.